Goldilocks, Fittipaldi or Michelangelo?

When a bowler comes into the Bush Hill Bowls shop for bowls and asks me for advice on which bowls to buy, I ask them “Are you a Fittipaldi, a Michelangelo or a Goldilocks?”

Those that don’t dash out of the shop faster than a Tatty Marshall fire tend to look at me rather strangely in anticipation of some kind of explanation.

And here it is: a lawn bowler will invariably, after a few years experience, prefer either

• to bowl as lead with narrower biased bowls when there are no bowls in the way and they can aim straight at the jack (like an F1 driver down the main straight – hence Fittipaldi)
• to bowl as Skip, with wide bias bowls, when there are loads of bowls in the way and they have to curve around to reach the jack – hence Michelangelo)
• to bowl in the middle, using bowls that are not too wide, not too narrow – hence Goldilocks.

And “which”, I conclude, “are you?”

This is a very useful Q&A, as the bowler will then think about how long they have been bowling. If they’ve more than a year or two’s experience they may already identify with their favourite rink position, and we can have a useful discussion about their current bowls and how a new set might contribute to their success.

The novice bowler quite likely hasn’t yet appreciated that they might develop a preference, so this is all news to them, so the Goldilocks option of a mid-bias bowl is the sensible choice. For the practical version, see how to choose the right bias for your lawn bowls.

Occasionally it happens that a new-ish bowler immediately grasps the point because it already resonates with the emotions they feel on the green. In such a case, they respond quickly and joyfully, telling me “oh, yes, I’m definitely a Fittipaldi – thanks for helping me understand why I enjoy this stupid game so much”, or “It’s such a thrill to be standing there on the mat with nothing coming between me and the jack”.

Or, “I enjoy the challenge of all the positions and I’d hate to be typecast and only ever play in the same position – how boring!”.

So there you have it. If Victoria Coren-Mitchell needs a question for her Only Connect quiz, how about “What’s the connection between Michelangleo, Goldilocks and Emerson Fittipaldi” – well now you know!  

And finally, is it just me… or, looking again at the portraits of Emerson Fittipaldi and Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarotti Simoni – could they be related?